Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Recently, I was diagnosed with Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder.


This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide
it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I
brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can
under the table and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table and see that there is only one check
left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house
to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to
keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've
been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to
water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water
and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the
flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke is still sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail....